Twitter Anyone?

Friday, February 20th, 2009

I think this is going to be the second and last part of my “Complaining about the Internet” series. I just need to get this one out there.

Have you ever heard of Twitter? If so, you’ll know what I am talking about here. If not, I’ll explain what it is to you. Basically, Twitter is a website that allows you to post very short updates on the happenings of your life. It can go something like this…”I have my hand stuck in the toilet.” You can post as many updates as you would like all day long if you want to. People who follow your Twitter feed can stay updated on how many times you get your hand stuck in the toilet during the day. It’s marvelous.

I hope I am describing the service correctly; I have never actually used it.

Just because I haven’t used Twitter, doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it. Please, let me know if the following is annoying to you too.

The other day, I was watching the news or something like it. Maybe it was one of those news shows, I’m not sure. There was a fascinating story on about how a few surgeons were operating on someone and another doctor was Twittering the goings on of the operation. I didn’t think too much of it at the moment. Then, later that day, I started thinking more about it. I asked myself, “Self, why was a doctor Twittering about an operation as it was in progress?” I began having strange thoughts and my mind started to wander. I must confess, I got annoyed for a while. I finally calmed down and tried to look at the plus side of the whole thing.

Let’s look at the “goods” of Twittering during an operation:

1. Comfort – a family can sit around a computer or a mobile phone reading “Tweets” about their loved one’s operation.
2. Informed – The world can get a first hand look at what goes on during an operation.
3. Progress – The doctors and hospital can glow in the limelight of their cutting-edge technology.
4. Contact – Everyone can be proud of themselves that we no longer need to have any amount of human contact.

Today, I watched the White House press conference for a few minutes. I got to the part where the Press Secretary said, “I find it humorous how many press releases have gone out and how much Twitter activity has gone on about…” I had to stop watching. Are you serious?

Okay, I love technology just as much as the next guy, but at what point do we implant “Borg-like” cybernetic enhancements on the sides of our heads and call it a day?

I thought it was great when email arrived on the scene. What a time saver. Then, when I could read the news online, I was thrilled. When I could finally keep up with friends and families through their blogs, I just loved it. When people started broadcasting every heartbeat that occurs inside their chest cavities, I thought the line was crossed.

I tend to think that this modern computer age is a “tool” to assist us in our “real lives.” Did you read that? A “tool” to “assist” us in our “real lives.” I might be over-quoting here, but I believe we are headed towards a place that is quite the opposite of what I just said. It’s going to be like, “Oh man, I have to go out in the sunshine today? Can’t I just twist the knob on the side of my skull and relay all my thoughts to everyone who belongs to the collective? Well, if I must go outside, I am going to need some sunglasses.”

Exercise? Family time? Conversation? Hiking? Looking someone in the eyes? I don’t think so folks…I’ll just go to YouTube and watch a video of someone else exercising, email my family about what I did today, use Skype to have a face-to-face conversation, get a treadmill and call it a hike and email someone a picture of me. I think that about covers it.

As I am finishing up this post and re-reading it, I am seeing a theme among this post and my prior one about Facebook. It appears that I get most agitated at the constant updating of our lives. With my blog, I write every so often to give you folks some information about me. I do it with thought and care. I plan it, write it and then proof read it. I don’t do it randomly and I certainly don’t do it 30 times a day.

Let’s go back to the Tweet, “I have my hand stuck in the toilet.” I think many of us might ask, “Who cares?” Seriously, “W-h-o c-a-r-e-s?”

To think, I thought I was alone. This guy sums it up nicely.

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