If you are reading this, you are probably thinking, “Oh man, my thoughts exactly!” We have all had them and have heard plenty about them…bad neighbors.
- Junk all over the place
- Barking dogs
- Screaming kids
- Wal-Mart neighbors
- Inappropriate holiday decorations
- Parties all the time
- Spousal fighting
- Spying on you
- The gossipers
- the list goes on…
The question for this post is what to do about them. I will not hold you in suspense…the answer is nothing. This issue is probably more about your own personality than anything else. Most neighbors, with the exception of a few obvious ones, are decent people with slightly different views on things. A big problem is called festering. Here is a scenario: You move into a new neighborhood and live there for a few years. No one (because of the new world we live in) ever really gets to know each other, or introduces themselves to each other, for that matter. You keep noticing different things that your neighbors do (and trust me, we all notice the things our neighbors do, and vice-versa). After a while, you start complaining to yourself about all the stupid things that everyone in the neighborhood does and these things become REALLY annoying to you. This is where it starts…and very soon, you may snap. Have you ever had this feeling?
Now, think about your childhood. Think back about how much you used to scream or terrorize the neighborhood and how much of a mess you used to make…your bike laying on the front yard for days. Think about how the basketball hoop was on its side in the driveway for months at a time right next to the broken lawnmower. Think about the effect that had on your neighbors.
Now think about today. Think about how much your dog barks and how much your kids scream. Now, think about the neighbors that you do like and actually talk to. What kind of annoying things do they do? If you really pay attention, they probably do most of the things that everyone else does, but you don’t pay attention to it anymore because you like these people. Why do you like them? Most likely because they introduced themselves to you way back when you first moved in and now you have an affinity toward them. I guess it’s common human nature…dislike and distrust of the unknown or unfamiliar.
There are tons of websites about this topic, but here are a few really funny ones:
If you browse through these, you will find a common theme – revenge. The people who write in and share their stories truly want revenge. They want to hurt their neighbors physically, mentally and financially. You know, I bet that if these neighbors just sat down and had a conversation with each other and got over themselves, everything would be ok.
Say you have a neighbor who is a slob. What ever happened to the world where one of us walked over there and asked if we could help out? No, I guess we don’t do that anymore.
The point is this – we all come from different sub-cultures and cultures. We all have different ways of doing things. We have got to learn how to put up with one another or we will just live our lives complaining about one another. Let’s get involved with the sloppy guy and the kids down the road. Let’s get drunk at least once with the Peacock family across the way. Let’s try to understand what makes these people tick and get used to them, because if we don’t, we will just keep running to different towns across the country to one day find a perfectly situation neighborhood full of people just like us. After a few months, we will find something we don’t like about them either.
Think hard before you choose to dismiss your neighbors, because they will most likely be the ones to call the fire department if your house is on fire or stop on the highway when you have a flat tire. At least try to love…or at a minimum like thy neighbor.
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That’s good advice, but what if your neighbor is a total A$$hat? What if you suspect that they are burying toxic waste in the back yard? What if they are holding loud raucous parties late on weekday nights? What if they are shooting off huge fire works and may burn down the neighorhood? Sometimes being Ghandi is fine, other times a more Schwartzkpof like attitude is needed, preferably before you snap.
I hear you loud and clear my aggressive friend. Perhaps I can explain my point of view this way: When I was growing up, there was one family that we (my friends and I) really hated. I have no memory of why we hated them. Someone must have done something. We were hell to them. We were loud and obnoxious…the worst nightmare you could imagine. They would do things to get back at us and we would do things 20 times worse to get back at them.
Years later, they joined as members to the gym I worked at. They were very polite and we dicussed what the heck went on back in the day. I apologized and everything was fine. We actually became good friends.
The only reason this happened is probably because I grew up a little bit, but thinking back, if they had come over and had spoken to my parents and were as nice as pie to me, they would’ve sucked out all my ammo. I would’ve had no choice but to respond kindly to them.
All I am saying is to talk to people before you buy a tank or call the cops.
You’re a wuss. Bad neighbors deserve some Liquid Ass.
http://www.liquidass.com
Well said.
I think you’re forgetting that many people do try to resolve their conflicts with their neighbors politely as possible. Most people I know try to give their neighbors the benefit of the doubt, at least at first. No one enjoys hostile conflicts. Most of the stories I’ve read on the Net, say something like, “I went over and tried to discuss my concerns, but he ignored me.”
The majority of people will not call in the authorities unless they have been provoked to the snapping point. Since we were kids, we’ve been conditioned to deal with our poblems on our own and not be a “tattletale.”
Unless the nuisance happens consistently and is unbearable, many people simply try to find ways to accommodate it.
I have tried to resolve conflicts with 3 sets of my neighbors – 2 of which are older than I and the other younger. The old English couple next door have been offensive, rude, and abusive to me if I call attention to something they are doing which is illegal and bothering me. The other older neighbors who are grandparents had their grandchildren screaming around their yard next door from 10 am til 7 pm, 7 nights per week, all summer one year. When I invited friends over to sit on my balcony, which has a lovely view of the ocean, each one in turn commented, “How can you stand those kids screaming?” I couldn’t use my balcony. Finally, I got up my nerve and began an over-the-fence conversation with my neighbor – who I have always liked – using all the courtesy I could muster after weeks on tranquillizers and on the verge of pulling my hair out, and told him, in a friendly manner, that the noise his 2- and 4-year old grandchildren made every day was, frankly, driving me crazy. He turned cold and said to me, “I don’t want to talk about it” and left. The kids kept it up and I called the police. Then I called the child welfare authorities. Hey, I could hear the kids scream, their mom chastise them, and then her smacking their bottoms CLEARLY from inside my house! They are an extremely vociferous family. Anyway, all that sort of worked but it made my neighbor angry. Finally, I was out pruning a hedge one day and the kids were running all over the yard next door, screaming at the top of their lungs – a series of long, drawn out screams – as usual – when I started screaming at the top of my lungs too. Here I am, up on a ladder at the top of a laurel hedge, screaming my guts out! Talk about therapeutic! Suddenly, I heard this voice, “Gale, are you alright?” It was the kids’ mom, sounding very concerned. She thought maybe I had cut my arm off with the pruning shears. I looked at her, totally relieved to see the look of genuine concern on her face, and said, “Now you know what it feels like.” With a look of compassion, she apologized. The kids were much quieter after that and now when they visit, they rarely make any noise. The other younger neighbors used to walk by and drive by and shout abusive comments at me, for no reason. Later it was in the local newspaper that one of them was arrested for possession of a firearm for the purpose of committing a crime and their best friend was arrested for physically assaulting a cab driver and damaging the cab in an angry outburst. I suffered two years of daily ongoing abuse from these bullies with no help from the police. The police said they had to be present at my house while I wrote a letter of complaint outlining all the incidents perpetrated against me by these young morons. It took me 2.5 hours to write it out by hand. Being a softie DOES NOT WORK. You have to be proactive with bad neighbors. Sadly, there is no other way. This younger generation is, in general and for the most part, a generation raised with no discipline or religion and very little moral guidance. Busy parents leave the parenting to teachers. Most parents are not very good parents and only care about spoiling their children, not teaching their children to be good citizens and courteous and kind to other people. This era of youngsters is an era that was raised to be wary of strangers, not to talk to adults, to be frightened of adults and, as a result, they treat adults with disrespect. My era was raised to be courteous to strangers, to treat adults and others with respect. Society is devolving. It’s the fault of today’s parents.
PS – My city developed a “Good Neighbor Bylaw” which covers all kinds of annoyances between neighbors which reduce your enjoyment of your property and aren’t covered by other bylaws. For example, your neighbor has a bright exterior light which is left on and shines into your house at night. Bylaw officers attend – not the police. It works!
One thing I found is that, if a kid screams at the top of its lungs all day long creating a disturbance, the police say well, it’s a kid. If an adult does it, they can be charged with creating a disturbance. That is, legally, discrimination. Are parents raising human beings, or animals these days?
We are in an upscale coastal community (Corona del Mar, CA.) Our neighbor has complained virtuallly every time our son and his friends go out in the alley to play (which is rare). These are good boys 12 and 13. The neighbor is worried they will wake his babies in the middle of the afternoon etc. We own our whole lot street to alley, he owns 1/2 lot in the rear. He keeps telling them to go to the park, etc. I have asked him to leave the boys alone and call the parents, left our phone numbers, etc. I am thinking of filing some kind of harassment suit, restraining order, etc. Please advise, these really are good kids.
It’s funny you say that…I used to work as a lifeguard at an indoor pool. The job was exeedingly boring, even for the short 4 hour shifts. The only thing we had was a small radio. We kept the volume on something like 1 out of 100. Needless to say, it was very quiet.
Every day, an elderly gentleman would come in to swim. He would walk by me, smile and turn down the radio. He would then proceed to put his swimming cap on, over his ears, and then swim with his head under the water. I would then turn the radio back up and he would never notice.
My point here is that everyone has different sensitivity to sound. Although, this guy was a little extreme.
I have an idea for your case. Go talk to your neighbor. It seems like he is sensitive as well. Go sit with him in his house while the kids are playing in the alley. Maybe he is hearing something from where he is that you can’t hear from you are. He is also worried about his child. He must have heard something at some point, or else he wouldn’t have even known the kids were there. Maybe you are so used to the noise that children make that you can’t even hear it anymore. Quiet to you may be loud to everyone else.
Also, you might want to tell the kids to play in the park where it is ok to yell all day long. (if they are even yelling)
My neighbor’s kids have been throwing things in my yard for approx. six years. They are up-hill so a full bottle of water, a beer bottle,or a metal tipped arrow have quite a force when landing on my patio or roof. I have talked to the mother 4 or 5 times, nothing changes. There is always a few months in between each attack. What to do?
Next time they make a mess, call the parents and have them come down with the kids to clean it up. That will hopefully eventually train these people that they will have to clean up their own mess.
I am also affected by disrespectful neighbors who leave large bulky items of garbage in the alley behind my house. This alley is the only access I have to my parking garage, and sometimes the garbage completely blocks the passage. I completely f#%ed my car up by accidentally backing over a toilet last year while pulling out of my drive way; It’s totally crazy. But nevertheless, I always opted for being the bigger person and not creating trouble. I had the city of Los Angeles sanitation bureau send me informative fliers for how to properly dispose of trash. These fliers had phone numbers for drop off centers, and even phone numbers for scheduling curbside pickups. I patiently plastered the entire alley with these fliers, written in both Spanish and English. Hoping people would get the hint. NO SUCH LUCK.
Today as I was backing out of my driveway, I actually was lucky/unlucky enough to spot an offender practically emptying the entire contents of his house in the alley. I politely walked up to him and gave him a flier, and attempted to explain how he didn’t need to dump his bulky trash in the alley, but could schedule a pick up FREE OF COST . He thanked me, and said he would call the city sometime this week. And proceeded to dump more garbage. I went into my home, and wondered how long the trash would stay there. I imaged homeless people grabbing mattresses and barricading under my carport. Tomorrow it would rain, and the piles of rags would fester. I imagined myself hauling the trash to the front of my own property, and properly scheduling a city sanitation pickup as they only pick up curbside trash, and even if the offeder did call them, they wouldn’t pick it up in the alley anyway. God!!! this was going to be a night mare. I have had it! I stormed back out into the alley, and rambled some pseudo Spanish about “no more trash. ENOUGH” and demanded they haul it back into their home, and brought it to a city dump or scheduled a proper pick up AS INSTRUCTED ON THE FLIER! I brought out my digital camera, took photos, and said I would report it. I got serous!
Tomorrow we will see what happens. But do I feel good about it. Hell no! I feel terrible, now my neighbors hate me, and you should have seen the confused look on their face when I went crazy on them. I feel terrible I have been crying all day!!! WHAT COULD I DO??? I have been trying the nice approach for 5 years.
I have a really horrible neigbor who constantly parks his ratty old car in front of my house. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t park it there 24 7 for weeks at a time. I have no place else to park but in front of my house because the other neigbors use the other parking spots in front of their houses. This man has a huge driveway as well as 3 cars! He used to keep it parked in his driveway but now its on the street. And the car he uses everyday doesn’t even get parked any further up the driveway! He also cleared the snow by his walk so he could park the thrid on the grass! Also his stupid garage is actually built over the property line onto our property!I am at my wits end with this man and I don’t know what’s left to do. Is it possible to pay to have his car towed if I pay for it? Is it against the law to park on your front lawn? What can I do ?? Help needed!!
Vanessa:
Have it towed. There is not a court in the world that will not agree with you, and you are perfectly within your rights to do this, especially if he has a driveway that he should be using.
Tow him. Let the local police know that you are having the car towed.
If it’s a nasty old car, many cities have ordinances against junky vehicles on the street. Look into that.
I live next door to a real moron. Her weapon is wind chimes. Big, huge, honking wind chimes hung within ten feet of our house.
We tried to talk with her about them, and why they were a problem for us with their constant clankity clank clanking…not once, not twice, not three times, but on FOUR separate occasions. She would never deign to give us an audience, instead having her moron boyfriend (who, incidentally, I have caught on a number of occasions perving in our windows) or two rat-faced sons speak to us instead.
We wrote her a letter, telling her that litigation is in the works if she doesn’t knock this off. She ignored it.
We took her to court, suing for harassment, only to be told that we must sue her in a higher court for Maintaining a Nuisance. That’s where we are today.
I have a disability that makes the sound of the chimes intolerable, FYI.
Now we are gearing up for another lawsuit. What a shame that she is such an inconsiderate moron. She was always very rude to us from the beginning, and has a reputation in our neighborhood for being a lunatic, but we always tried to be good neighbors to her. Always.
I agree with the others…there is only so much that you can be “Zen” about.
i am so angry with my neighbor she has 3 kids a 12 year old 10 year old and a 3 year old the police have been called alot on this women she uses drugs and she is on housing so basicely its free living just yesterday her 3 year old came in our yard and picked up our rack and scratched our bran new 2007 otima where was the mother ill tell you what im going to do im going to take her to court these kids i feel sorry for them that they have a mother like that
these kids dont even go to school everyday because there mother is dopped up i have had it and im not going to be nice about it no more i have delt with these people for 7 years
I HAVE 3 CLICKY SETS OF NEIGHBORS.I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THEM.Ten of them live in a one family dwelling. They are white trash.KIDS screaming 24/7. We can’t sit in any room of our house. She’s been told to take care of her kids. Their in everyone’s yard, but suppose to be her kids. If I wanted to adopt somemore I would have.Then across is the MAYORS house . [77 YR. OLD]She watches us all day from 8 to 11 at her kitchen table staring at “EVERYTHING YOU DO”. They’ve worn out 3 sets of kitchen chairs in 6 yrs. Then their is Miss know it all ,next door. They are trying to get us out of the neighborhood. HARRSSING US.These people should be arrestedf or trying to destroy peoples lifes. We work and mind our own business.not moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a neighbor who’s god bit my wife while I was away on business. My wife did not want to make a big deal of it, so she did not call the police, but did go to the doctor and get the bit wound taken care of. Me, when I arrived back home, I went and knocked on his door and stated “I don’t want any trouble with the neighbors, however, you must keep your dog tied up. If I see the dog loose, I will call the Sheriff’s Department. If I see the dog in my yard, I will shoot it because I have two young children and your dog is a menace.”
He said “Okay.”
I said “Have a nice day.”
My “speak softly by carry a large caliber rifle” method of neighborhood diplomacy.
I like that story…it sounds strangly familiar. Hmmmm.
My wife and I moved into our home a year and a half ago, we have five teenaged children. Shortly after we moved in I was grilled by one of the neighbors who lives next door. He wanted to know what I did for a living, and how much money I made. He said he likes to keep tabs on who lives next door. He and his wife later found out that three of our children were adopted and the other two were foster kids. From that time till now we have had nothing but trouble from them. They told me we had too many kids, and that foster kids were nothing but trouble. They constantly call the police on my children and blatantly lie in an effort to get us in trouble. Each time the police come out they tell us that we are not commiting any crimes and that dislike it but they have to come. For the last three weeks every time my children go into the backyard to play the neighbors call the police. Officer Humble just left about thirty minutes ago. Wouldn’t you know it he is the nephew to the complaintant. He got a private call and said my kids were making lewd gestures toward the neighbors (his uncle and aunt). I was sitting out there the whole time and the kids never even looked their way. They have an eight foot privacy fence so how could they even see them? The harassment goes on and on. I have tried talking to them, I have even put the police dog I retired with to sleep because she was afraid of German Shepherds. Even though the dog was kept in a kennel and was behind a privacy fence and atleast 100 yards from her house. I have bent over backwards trying to just have a little peace.
All I want is peace, but nothing I do is enough. The code enforcement officer was called out today and he told me we weren’t in violation of anything and that these neighbors were trouble makers. He suggested that we hire an attorney and have the attorney send them a cease and desist letter which we did today.
one of my kids was sitting in our front yard star gazing the other night when the neighbor walked by and asked him what he was doing. when he told he was watching stars she told him that FOSTER KIDS shouldn’t be outside after dark. What does being a foster kid have to do with anything?
We just signed the contract to buy the house three weeks ago and now I am wishing we hadn’t..
What makes it worse is that I am a minister in this town and I am trying to keep the right spirit. But it is hard.
I don’t want revenge I just want peace. It seems the only way to get it is to move. But I hate this constant turmoil.T
Sincerely seeking Peace The Rev.
Ok well this is my story. First of I am 26 y/o just moved out of my parents place. I am not a big party animal but like to have a few friends over to watch the game. I own my condo, and I expect that I have some rights as does the complaining neighbor.
So far I been living at the condo 2 weeks, never had a party or anyone over. Just go about my business. So yesterday I had friends over (5 of them) to watch the Packers vs Cowboys. We are drinking, talking, and cheering the game on. 10:30PM (thursday) my neighbor comes to my door, looking very annoyed. You guys are very loud I can hear you walking around, your tv is up too loud, and can you be quiet. I apoligize turn down the tv slighty, and go about just hanging with friends. 11:00pm The guy comes back you guys are still loud this is the last time I am coming back. Come on I mean we talk a bit loud and joke around, but you know what I have rights too. I mean eventually I am gonna have my parents over and friends for a house warming, I am not buying a place to tip toe around and not have people over. I am not a d*ck but some people are just anal, and want total silence, and if you want that get a house don’t live in a condo.
Boy, are you so very off. I live in an apartment above my troublesome neighbor. She is definitely younger than I am. You want to talk about troublesome… Ok, the night she came and took over the apartment below mine, she yelled a the woman who was moving out. Then commenced to yell at me upstairs. She hasn’t quit, even when the owner told her to stop and leave.
She demands I clean so she can yell and scream, telling me I am doing it wrong, I am her slave and have to do it her way, including childish and cruel names. She also demands I move because I won’t do what she wants. She has also tried to have me arrested on false charges of thievery and being a pedofile.
She also demands my personal property and thinks she can tell me what I can and can’t keep, eat, wear…etc. As though she really believes she can run my life for me.
The cops have been called on her and admittedly me for our yelling back and forth. Yes, I have read her the riot act a few times, reminding her that she is the one who has to shut up, clean up her act and go home to her parents since she wants to act like a 2 year old instead of a responsible adult.
What really gets me is that the owner won’t throw her out, unless, that is, he evicts me first for HER brat bitch behavior. I am at my wits end, but I refuse to give her the power over me that will encourage her to keep this up. I will NOT move, I will NOT clean and I will NOT do anything she tells me to do.
Now, will someone please come with the straight jacket and butterfly net to remove her from my life so she can get the medical and medicinal help she needs to see reality and do the right thing by going home to her parents?
your advice in this article doesn’t cut it. sometimes you make no noise yourself, are respectful, and all you get back from your neighbors is rude noise, attitude, and strife.
I can understand about the festering thing. However, we live in a planned community where just about everyone is a great neighbor. Except for…well, let’s just call them, the McDoes. This old couple, who my husband and I were friendly with initially – we gave them tomatoes from our garden and dog pee pads when our dog got house trained, etc, etc – then, they turned. We are friendly with everyone and don’t get involved in neighborhood politics. The McDoes noticed we were friendly with some people who are suing them (the McDoes and for good reason). Now, they have started some sort of sick, twisted routine of intimidation. Anyone who disagrees with them or does anything (I’m talking trivial stuff, like doesn’t clip their grass 1/4 of an inch within the limit they think it needs to be clipped – I’m not exaggerating) they don’t like, the McDoes call the police and say that the person is harassing them (the McDoes).
I understand about wanting your neighbors to call the fire department for you. In fact, many of us in the neighborhood have an emergency smore making kit. If the McDoes house ever did catch fire, we would roast marshmallows, make smores and sing kumbaya.
Has anyone noticed that the people who leave comments on this post are a little…um…shall we say…oh, forget it.
Some neighbors cannot be ignored. There are laws against harassment. For example, hanging wind chimes next to your bedroom. I advocate taking these people to court.
Do home owners have any rights? I know they say we do. But listen to all these horror stories about bad neighbors, which I also have.
What laws are there that protect homeowners?
What laws are there that will hold landlords accountable for their tenants?
Recently someone bought the house next to me. Both of our properties border a large creek that has a seasonal salmon run. It is very pretty, but because of the creek’s location we are limited as to what we can do on our land. Right after buying the property next door the neighbor illegally logged off all of the timber including two trees that were not even on his land. Soon after he diverted water that ran down his driveway during a heavy rain storm and flooded out my garage. He did get into trouble with the state and local authorities for the logging. Now he is selling the home. It has truly been digusting to have to live next to this. I have found that some people just don’t care about obeying the law or the rights of the people around them.The best of luck to any of you who have bad neighbors.
I think I just need to vent, and welcome any advice because I am about to lose it.
My neighbors do not take care of their yard. They let the weeds grow as tall as the house, their “tomato” garden that backs up to my yard rot and overgrow with weeds which is now causing moss, fungus and my grass to die. Not to mention all the unpleasant bugs it brings. They have installed retaining walls and pebble grounds, which also back up to my yard (divided by a picket fence) and pavers underneath their airconditioning unit (therefore there is no ground underneath the drip to absorb the water, which then rolls off into my yard causing more moss and flooding). They do not trim their trees, edge around the inside or outside of their fence, blow or sweep up the clippings in the sidewalk after the rare mow or two, called me in the middle of knowing i was throwing a baby shower multiple times, repeatedly, until i answered to tell me to have my guests that are parked in front of their house to move their cars b/c he “might be expecting a package” and he “might want to morter in the stones around his trees” even though it was POURING DOWN RAIN, and the fact that he called the cops on another neighbor b/c the charter bus that was loading the guests was temporarily parked in front of their house. There are other issues, but I do not have the energy to type them all. I am frustrated, and don’t know what to do other than to politely ask them each time for help. Well, I did that yesterday over email b/c the actual homeowner works out of town Mon-Thursday and his boyfriend who is not a homeowner doesn’t work in the yard. After reading my polite email, they got defensive, starting name calling and being immature. I sent several emails back explaining that my email must have been misinterpreted and actually apologizing for nothing, but tyring to avoid confilict, but they kept up with the name calling and immature behavior. Here’s a clip for your viewing pleasure: “Wow, I have tryed to be neighborly about this but clearly you can not behave like an adult, best of luck with Jim and Mr. Love. For the record it has been your combative nature that has elevated this absolutly ridiculous issue into bad feelings. I refuse to lower myself to the petty, childish, hatefull behavior you have exhibited. I not only don’t have the time, or energy, and in fact to much respect for myself to do so.” This was after numerous emails of him avoiding the issue and picking fights. All I asked was them to help, and once they got out of hand, I told them that I was going to pass along the issue to the neighborhood management company. This was his response to that. I have been worrying and worrying over the fact that I may have come off the wrong way b/c you can’t read tone in an email, but nobody else (including the management company) thinks that’s the case. So, I’m left wondering if they are going to poison my dog or something. I wish these childish boys would grow up and accept the responsibilities of homeownership.
One blogger stated it perfectly. You can try to live with people peacfully but they refuse.
You are quiet and polite and make no noise. They return the kindness with nastiness and whatever other evil that comes out of them.
Positive story alert! I live in Pine Bush NY. Jay..I know you are familiar with this town. I am the neighbor that plows everyone’s driveway. Read all about it: http://oshea12566.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/plowing/
I plow both next door neighbors and two families across the street. Why? I am not really sure. I have a tractor with a snow plow and the seeing the them struggle with hand shovels is gut wrenching. It takes me 10 minutes to do each driveway when by hand it would take them an hour or so. I do not accept money, but have found a gift certificate to Applebee’s in my mailbox.
my neighbors pump the music to crack of dawn they block our way to our walk way to our apt with their car we’ve spoken to them nicely and you know what all they’ve done is make worst i’ve complaint several times to the landlord and all i’ve gotten back from him after 4 yrs is there will always be something wrong every where i go what an a he rented to these salvages with no moral respect to others i don’t leave my home any more i’ve gotten sick and the fact that all he cares about is if they pay the rent they aren’t bad people the drug dealing them getting doped up i see they are good people i’ve had enough of this i’ve been looking for a new place but instead of landlords question me i question them is this a safe and quiet place cause the truth is im not leaving the situation im in to start the same old same old some where else i feel for all of yous im living my own night mare but take a stand and no we don’t need to live like that question your next landlord it’s best to let them know that some places aren’t worth the trouble no matter how beautiful the place is i’ve here 4yrs and 5months out of the 4 yrs we lived happy we had this drunk that for 3and 1/2 yrs made trouble turned the neighbors against us was always in our face finally she moved out but not poisioning the landlord against us when i thought we we’re finally free he brings this people in and now it’s like if you don’t it move out is he for real neighbors and landlords from the pit of hell.
OK…obviously this yahoo has never really had “bad” neighbors; Parties until 4 a.m. with work the next day… loud vulgar yelling back and forth all night… music, TV, and the “boom-boom-boom” well after even the bars close is just not acceptable…I came to this site for ideas and assistance, not some California mumbo jumbo of how this is my fault. Idiot.
Wow, are you always this much fun?
Trust me man, I know what you are talking about. When I wrote this post, I was watching my hair fall out because of our ghetto red neck neighbors parking their NASCAR trailer right up along our property line. Ummm…let me go down this list:
1. Little white Maltese that liked to bark ALL the time. ALL THE TIME. Gotta love those little white dogs.
2. Parties that seemed to go on way too often. When their idiot friends came over, they would actually park on the lawn right next to our house and on the road in front of our lawn.
3. Seems like everyone in this town had a full size backhoe that they liked to run early Sunday mornings. For what? Who knows.
4. Floodlights that they decided to turn on at 2AM so they can smoke their ghetto cigarettes on the back porch. They just happen to shine through our bedroom window at night. We actually had to hang 3 sheets over the window to stop the light from coming through. No joke.
5. The dirtbag across the street just had to have his piles of garbage piled in his driveway…FOREVER. Old machines, old swing set, old lawnmower that didn’t run anymore, etc…
6. Same dirtbag has a nasty habit of burning said garbage in his backyard. The whole neighborhood stunk like burning plastic. The nice town we lived in didn’t see that as a problem as long as he had a permit. Burning plastic isn’t a problem?
Oh, the list goes on and on. When I wrote this post, I was holding myself back from taking things into my own hands. I tried to look at things from a different viewpoint.
We eventually had to move. For your reference, you can’t change a bad neighbor. You have to get away from them and leave them for other people to deal with. If you try to do anything other than get away, you will just make things worse. After we left, we both had nightmares of seeing these scummers show up in the new town we live in. I still get freaked out a little bit from the trash we used to live next to.
Oh, by the way, thank you for calling me an idiot.
I have never lived next to a good neighbor EVER. Why should this neighbor be any different? well here it goes: i live in a city full of bad neighbors, drug dealers, users, trash and so on, well my new next door neighbor is a single guy and i thought ok well this should be better than my last neighbors. WRONG! He plays his music loud everyday, somtimes for just a half hour or so… which doesnt bother me. But other times he plays it when im trying to get my kids to bed. Mind you i have 3 small children and im 9 months pregnant. I have asked him at least 6 times to keep it down, i always was polite and told him what a good neighbor he was and that i just had an issue with his music… well he totally ignored me and nothing has changed since i moved in about 4 months ago. I finally got fed up with asking him and being nice since he obviously wasnt getting the point of KEEP it down. My kids couldnt sleep at night and would wake up crying so i had to do something about it asap. So i asked him one more time and said i wouldnt ask him again to turn it down because i asked him a dozen times already. He said ok and was polite back as always but then continued to be loud. He seems to have gotten even more bold, having a dog in his house when no pets are allowed, having people over at night and being loud, playing loud music ect… so i called the landlord to complain and now he is pissed off at me, i am just trying to get his noise level down before i have this baby and he being a single guy doesnt understand the need for quiet when you have kids that need naps and go to bed early. I always yell at my kids to be quiet and would never let them or myself be that noisey but yet i have to hear his noise UGH! today he came to my door pounding and asking to speak with me, i assume he got a call from my landlord today to keep it down because i complaind. He seemed very upset and has been slamming his doors ect… what should i do? should i go talk to him? or just stay away from him? Im afraid he will retailiate or have someone else harm me? am i overreacting? any input ty!!
Lynn,
I totally sympathize. My family and I are going through a similar situation with a neighbor that has been living next door for 9 months. All nine of those months have been a major irritant to me. He is a renter and I own my property. I did the polite thing and went over to his place two times and my wife, once. After that it was all HOA. I did the right thing by bringing it up, but I would have worn out a path between my front door and his if I had gone over there every time his “surround-sound” was turned up. We share an adjoining wall for our Town home units.
This “tenant” ignored all the violations sent to him, every one of them. He continued his trashy behavior untill enough complaints were made and a hearing was called by the HOA. They are better now, but I don’t trust them and I don’t wish to live next to them much longer. I have my own meeting with the HOA and the landlord coming up in the near future and I am going to suggest, one owner to another, that they not renew this renters lease. As far as I could tell the tenant hasn’t been brought to task for the last nine months of crap and I am going to retain a lawyer if I can’t get what I want from the homeowner next door, i.e., a promise to evict.
I will not have a good relationship with this guy and his miriad family/friends who live with him. I get the ugliest of looks from him and I don’t feel comfortable in my own living space any longer. I have only for a short time, 3 years, next to good neighbors. Rest of the time, most have been rude and/or violent. We lack civility in our society. It has been gone for many years.
Reading about everyone’s bad experiences makes me feel a little better about living underneath the inconsiderate that are my neighbors. These jerks have parties constantly, and they’re like 40! Their guests are too. They stomp up and down the stairs and destroyed the lobby once as they were leaving at 3 in the morning. What rude! The woman wears heels and walks so heavily all day. Who wears heels in the house? Maybe some hot young thing checking herself out in the mirror, but this is. Frizzy haired and middle-aged. After the party comes the. I am so sick of hearing the moans and groans and now it’s worse because I can put an ugly face to it all. GROSS!!! I’ve called the cops, complained to the landlord, and even knocked on their door. Nothing helped. I might just leave a bag full of matter in front of their door and light it on fire.
I’m sure this works swell when the neighbors do talk. But when every time you try to approach them to resolve issues, not even the ones you have with them, but the ones they have with you and they just shout bad names at you and slam the door in your face, it’s kind of hard. So what do you do if your neighbors refuse to talk to you? We went to their landlord and it’s helped with the property damage they were causing (shooting our chickens and any glass they could see in our yard with a BB gun and pouring foul substances through our RV vents in the roof) but they hate us more than ever. Our next step is to again talk to the young man’s step-father (he’s older than us, but he acts like he’s 2 so therefore he is a young man in my eyes) and try to get him to not sell the house to him. His father is a sane well respected lawyer, but his wife (the man’s mother) just babies him and rallies for him, so we’ll see what happens. I just want them to go back to Colorado and leave us alone.
I moved out of my own fully paid off townhouse because of lousy neighbours.
The woman thought she was the most high class teacher to ever grace the face of the earth and to prove this fact she allowed a mentally unstable unemployed car salesman to move in and make an absolute pest of himself.
The first incident happened one Friday night when they recognised me at a local bar/restaurant and they sidled up acting friendly and trying to get free food and drinks out of me. When I said no things got nasty and he started a fistfight.
I never laid charges thinking that they would just stay away from me after that. Things were quiet for about 6 months and then they started harassing me with loud music at all times of the night.
The worst times for the music were school holidays when it would go on until 3 in the morning, I would have to go to work barely functioning and they would get to sleep in all day.
I eventually started confronting them and wrinting letters to the managing agent of the complex and that kept the noise down for a while but my car would mysteriously be vandalized.
Things came to a head when he assaulted someone else in the complex and I happened to witness that, charges were then laid and I was the star witness.
I had already signed to buy another house by then and was 2 weeks away from moving out so missed many of the fireworks after he realised that we were serious about having him locked up.
He was found guilty of that assault and they have recently sold their place, I hope that they are not moving anywhere near my near house.